For Prince Seiker
by The Sharkening
Summary: Helputt is now the Lord of Hamel after Rod Ross was found to be working with the Demons. Now, he already wants his son, our favorite Blonde Boy to marry to a princess of another kingdom. But Chung, Elsword, and Raven have other plans. (Also, this isn't a legit romance story.)
1. For the Prince

**THIS IS A CRACK PARODY. ELSWORD IS OWNED BY KOGGAMES AND NEXON.**

 **Oh, hello there. Welcome to this hell! This is just a little crack story produced by my... _friend.._? ...And me. It went a little like this;**

 **"Hey guys, I want someone to like, make a fanfiction where various girls try to get Helputt's blessing for a marriage with Chung, and Helputt rejects all of them for horrible, mean reasons."**

 **So I decided, "YO! I'mma get right on that, fam!"**

 **So here it is. I hope you all enjoy. c:**

 **P.S. This is a one shot, so, I don't see myself writing another chapter to this, unless people somehow like this... or something, and I get a bunch of reviews, favorites, or follows.. If _that_ happens, then I guess I'll make a little second chapter to this.**

 **P.P.S. The Elsword lore may have been mixed up to fit this story, so if there's anything different from the canon storyline, I'm sorry if it bothers you.**

 **Classes:**

 **Elsword: Rune Slayer**

 **Elsa..?**

 **Raven: Blade Master**

 **Chung: Tactical Trooper**

 **Aisha: Elemental Master**

 **Rena: Grand Archer**

 **Eve: Code Empress**

 **Ara: Sakra Devanam**

 **Elesis: Blazing Heart**

 **Lu/Ciel: Noblesse/Royal Guard**

* * *

It is the grand day of rebuilding the prosperous Hamel! The day the El Search Party had removed all demons from Elrios, and the corrupted have been purified, the son to a famous warrior of Hamel, Chung Seiker, had reunited with said father, Helputt. The White Colossus.

Rod Ross, the previous lord of Hamel, had been found out to have been working with Ran, the demon in charge of taking over Hamel during the entire Demon Invasion ordeal. Due to this, Rod Ross was forced to step down, as voted by Hamel civilians, in order to prevent a come-back from the Demons, heavily neglecting the pleads made by Daisy not to make this decision. In result, Helputt was raised to the position as new lord of Hamel, who was not completely at fault, as he was being forcefully controlled, and not workijg with the demons at his own will.

And, the first thing that came to Helputt's mind, upon knowing his son Chung Seiker, otherwise known as Prince Seiker to the grand city of Hamel, had been affiliated with the El Search Party, was to have him be married.

To whom? Princesses from kingdoms beyond Hamel, of course. To reinforce their relationships with kingdoms, such as Lanox, Sander, Velder, ***** Sutra and from regions unknown to Chung himself. However...

The Tactical Trooper, not wanting to be married to some woman he has never met before, had other plans.

Chung had proposed a suggestion to his father; To have girls, approved by Chung, apply to marry said teen. But, how would this work? He would ask girls question, such as what makes them qualified, what they're like, personality-wise, and why they could also benefit _Hamel._

Now, at first, Helputt had thought, _this was absolutely ridiculous!_ Just what was his son thinking?! Allowing some random girl to marry someone of royalty? ...Of course, that position of royalty was suddenly thrusted upon the two Seikers. But royalty, nonetheless! He had first rejected this, but Chung proved a point;

"Father, I helped save Elrios, fought to free Hamel, and assisted with freeing you from mind control. Don't you believe that this is the _least_ you could do? For me?"

"Of course, but-"

"Father, I dug through your labs and research papers just to blast the darkness out of your armor, and I free'd Hamel, this shouldn't be a question."

"Yes, bu-"

"Father, I still have my cannon with me right now!" Chung whipped out his massive cannon, as if it was a threat.

"Fine! We shall review these random girls of yours. However, I will review them along with you, so you don't get any ideas. And bring a friend or something to assist in judging, in case you have something in mind. I'll tear that hypothetical plan right out of them..."

Despite that last threat, Chung grins at his approval. "Thank you, father. I know you won't be disappointed with the girls in mind!" Although, some of these girls are only his teammates, and people he does not desire to have any special relationship with beyond frienship. He just doesn't want to marry a stranger from another kingdom.

* * *

"Elsword, what am I supposed to do?! I don't want to marry any of my friends..!" Chung paced back and forth in front of his close friends and teammates, Elsword and Raven. They stood at the docks of Hamel, pondering.

"Chung, dude, calm down. If you don't watch your step, you're gonna drop into the water." Elsword warned the panicking warrior.

"I'm sorry, but I can't- I just... Don't know what to do. I don't think I want to marry any girl, not at this age." Chung stops pacing, and sits in front of Elsword.

"Then why did you even approve of marriage _at all_?" The black haired swordsman questioned Chung's choice,

"I- I don't know! I wasn't thinking at the time. My mind immediately went to, 'Do something to avoid marrying a stranger, ah... Ah, your friends!' But I never once considered rejecting the idea itself!"

"Well, what are you going to tell the others?"

"Ah... I don't know... Can- Can you guys tell them? This is just... really embarrassing..."

"Sure, buddy. But, if anything goes south?" Elsword inched over to the pale boy's head to whisper in his ear. "I've got a backup plan." Elsword smiled mischievously.

Suspicious, Chung reluctantly decides to listen...

* * *

"Alright, Chung, my boy. Have you made your choices of whom shall be questioned?" Helputt stood inside the Hamel castle's throne room, alongside his son, both sitting in thrones fit for the both of them. However, due to Helputt's... overwhelming stature... a much larger throne was made for him, that of which dwarves Chung's own seat. However, a simple, wooden chair was put up for a guest 'judge'.

"Yes, father. I have also brought a friend, just as you asked." Chung nods towards the black haired male, Raven, who strolled out from a neighboring room. "His name is Raven. He's very reliable, father. He was a teammate in the El Search Party, as well." Raven properly bowed to Helputt, and couldn't help but keep in mind, that the very man he is bowing to, is the same man the Elgang had fought in the Temple of Trials.

"Raven, hm? If I remember correctly, you once were a mercenary and the leader of the Black Crow, back in your mind-controlled days... Is that right?" Helputt examines Raven, from his Nasod arm. As the Hamel castle heavily guarded, Raven didn't bring his blade along. However, the guards seemed a little... incompetent?

"Yes, I was, sir." Raven nods, as he takes a seat in the wooden chair next to Chung.

"I see. Alright then." Helputt turns to the door that separated the throne room from the hallway. "Bring in the first girl!"

As the large, double doors opened, a purple hair girl wearing a white coat emerged. "Hello~! I'm Aisha!"

"Hello, Aisha. Today, we'll be examining you and other girls, on what makes you qualify to date my son." Helputt adjust his seating position as Aisha gives a simple OK. "So what makes you think you are qualified?"

"I am a grea~at magician! I used to be suuu~uper powerful, but a ring stole my powers, and now I-"

"Denied."

Huh? Helputt just stated his rejection flatly. Not even a minute has passed and he has already denied one of the girls applying for Chung's marriage. "Wha- father?!"

"Wait, what? But why?" Aisha was slightly annoyed that she couldn't even finish her sentence, but also quite confused as to why Helputt rejected her.

"You're too loud and too irritating. I couldn't imagine what my grandchildren would be like, if they were to be anything worse than my daughter-in-law..."

"Helputt, sir, I don't think that is a justified reas-" From his wooden chair, Raven attempted to reason with the cannon-wielding soldier. However, Helputt wasn't finished.

"And you're too flat!"

After a pause of silence, both Prince and Raven facepalmed at the large man's second reason. _Noooo... Miss Aisha, why..? Such an ego. Alright then. After Miss Aisha, Miss Rena should be coming up now..._ Chung thought, as Aisha's face flushed, and recklessly Teleported away... By recklessly, I mean she accidentally Teleported to the Sunken Resiam. Thankfully, with all the demons gone, she's fine... Probably.

"Next!"

The green haired elf walked past the double doors. Rena's hair fluttered past her, as she strutted to the center of the throne room. Seeing this made something inside of Raven's mind screech like a siren... Don't get it wrong, it's not out of love;

It's out of remembering the horrible memories of their sparring matches.

Painful... merciless... and pride-shredding sparring matches. The feeling of the arrows breezing through his limbs, like a hot knife through butter... The sensation of his skin freezing from a Freeze Arrow, like being in a freezing winter without a fire! The lurking fear of being hunted down by her Guide Arrows, like a wolf hunting a deer... And the dauntless terror... of being struck by Gugnir, like the El Lady's wrath raining down on Elrios, while on her period! And that hellish smile she makes... As she plucks those mana bowstrings, and firing a deadly arrow... Had they not been sparring matches, the Blade Master would be dead.

And before Raven knew it, Helputt had already rejected Rena! How long had he been _remembering_ for?

"Rena... You are sweet, and very caring, and I can see that! However, you seem... unfit, for my son..." Helputt slowly spoke, following up with Rena questioning this.

"You seem too... motherly, for my boy Chung. I'm afraid you may end up treating him more as a child than a husband, or such. And, as you are an Elf, you are..." Helputt paused, "...Much older than Chung. The age difference is too great. Plus, Human-Elf relationships are forbidden... so... Scram."

"...What..?"

"Scram! Get out! Sayonara! Adios! Hasta la vista! Beat it, and take your breasts with you!" ******

With a sigh, Rena turns towards Chung and shrugs, as if saying, _I tried_. She then turned towards Raven, teasingly giving him a wink, then a short blow-kiss, promptly before leaving. As for Raven, what was hiding behind his nervous smile, was internal screaming.

"...You know Chung, she was a nice woman. If she wasn't much older than she looked- and wasn't an elf, therefore making it _not_ illegal -I would've approved of her. She's even got a nice rack..." Helputt and Chung both nodded at eachother. "Although, I think your friend Raven would much better suit her."

Hearing this, Raven nearly had a heart-attack, jumping back in his chair. "Hell, **_No!_** That woman is a _demon!_ A demon, I tell you!"

Chuckling, Helputt calls for the next girl. Said girl quickly floats past the large doors, followed by two other figures.

"Oh? What's this?" Helputt raises an eyebrow towards such an unexpected entrance.

Eve, the Nasod Queen, bows towards Helputt after dismissing her two Nasod helpers, Oberon and Ophelia. "Hello Lord Helputt, I am Eve, queen of Nasods. I have come to ask of your blessing to marry your son, 'Prince Seiker'." Eve stares towards the large man. Despite such a formal introduction, and a calm statement to ask for Chung's hand, behind her metallic and confident mask of a face, she's somewhat... inconfident about this.

She knew this was for a comrade of hers, however, she really has no intention of actually marrying, or in rather, pretending to want to marry Chung. She had other business to attend to, really. Such as, going back to seeing to the reconstruction of the Nasod Kingdom from their scraps. Or make peace with the Ponggos on Altera, and apologize for the actions of the Nasods. But no. What had she done with her time, today? She graciously decided to help Chung, Raven, and Elsword with their little plan. Why? She has yet to figure this out, herself.

She didn't want to have any part of this. But here she is, doing it anyways. What if she actually marries the boy? They're hundreds of years apart in terms of age... It worries her, with the outcome of how the rebuilding the Nasod Kingdom.

"Royalty to the Nasods, hm?" Helputt stared back to the mechanical doll. However, he didn't notice a little... drip, dropping from the Nasod girl's left temple. "I see. So, what makes you qualified to marry Chung?"

"I... hm.." Eve didn't seem to have any idea of what makes her qualified. "I... Erm, I am..."

What should she do?

"You seem to not have a reason." Helputt figures this out as Eve is just stammering.

Then, she knew what to do.

"...Fine. I've got nothing. Bye." With that, Eve nervously zoomed out from the throne room, doors shutting behind her...

All three of the men in the throneroom were all questioning the what happened. Though it wasn't shocking, it was confusing.

"What..? What the hell was that..?" Raven wondered why Eve couldn't have at least put more effort into that act.

"...What a weird bi-"

"Father!'

"What?"

"Cursing to insult people you don't know is kept to a minimum!"

"Oh, fine, but what, awful and discreet jokes are allowed? And cursing for any other reason is fine?"

"Sorry, It's sort of fine. It's just that we don't want to trigger any Eve fans."

* * *

Helputt taps his fingers against his face, as he rests his head on his palm, elbow on his knee.

"Chung, I'm beginning to think that these girls you have presented me, aren't quite qua-"

"Believe me, father, I think you may like the next one! And if not, there's just three more!"

"Fine. But if I don't like any of them, you're marrying a woman of another kingdom!"

"Yes, father."

As the doors opened again, an light-skinned, ebony woman entered, stepping upon the blue, regal carpet.

 _Thankfully, Miss Ara is naturally this kind and... elegant? Maybe she'll appeal to father! I think she's my safest-_

Just before the guardian could finish that thought...

Said woman trips, and faceplanted. From what, did Ara trip upon, exactly? Just a crease on the carpet.

 _...bet. Right. Miss Ara's clumsier than a headless Phoru on rollerskates. In an ice rink. During an earthquake._

Ara stands, as she dusts herself off, and presents herself to the White Colossus.

"Hello, Sir Seiker! I am Ara Haan! Pleased to meet you." As Ara bowed, Helputt scratched his chin.

"Hmm... aren't you related to that demon, Ran?"

"Ah- Yes..?"

 _I_ also _forgot that she's related to Ran, which if I do remember correctly, was in charge of the demon invasion of Hamel._

"Far too clumsy. Related to a demon.- Might accidentally break my son's arms. Next."

"Father!"

"Next, I say!"

Ara ran out disappointed, to have a red haired woman to nonchalantly walk through those doors.

"'Ey, what happened to Ara?" Elesis jabbed her thumb behind her, as Ara just turned a corner, bowling over several passing guards.

"Father is harsh."

"Right, right.. Aaanyways, hiya. I'm Elesis."

"Elesis? As in the Red-Haired Knight Elesis?" Helputt raised an eyebrow at this.

"Eeyup. Well, I mean. Not so much as a knight anymore. Still, it's all me."

"I see... Why are you dressed so ruggedly, though? Aren't you a commander of the Red Knights?"

"Part-time job. Mainly burn stuff for the hell of it."

"And you think you're qualified for my son?"

"Well, I don't know about qualified. More like..." Elesis exaggeratingly admires herself as she flexes without a hint of shame. " _Too good for him._ "

"...Yes, and you're still applying to marry a boy you're 'too good for'?"

"I have my reasons, old man."

Chung and Raven gawks as Elesis casually speaks to the -pronounced a day ago- lord of Hamel himself.

"Although you are a high ranking soldier, I'll have to deny you. I think you might kill my son on accident."

"What?! I know what I'm doing! And you think I'll kill him? But Ara, who is clearly clumsy, will apparently only, 'break his arm'. I think my beauty is being discriminated."

"Elesis, I swear to El. In a trunk. Off a cliff." Helputt gestured for her to leave, which she obliged with a sigh.

"Next!"

 _I feel like father is deliberately denying my friends just so he can choose for me._

The next woman floated in like actual royalty. Not like a quick entrance, like Eve. One that actually represented royalty.

"Hello! I am Luciela R. Sourcream! I am a Demon Queen, and I-" The demon queen began to speak, only to be interrupted by random guards.

"Oh god, did she say 'Demon Queen'?!" A random guard nearby shouted.

"She's here to take over our kingdom!"

" _Ruuuun!_ "

"Please don't steal my soul!

"Grab the woman and children!"

"Great idea, we'll use them as meat shields!" *******

"Aaaahh!"

When a guard attempted to attack Lu from behind, Ciel appeared, eyes stoic yet full of anger. He pulls out his cross shaped gatling gun.

" **Marbas!** "

Other than him, the three members of the El Search Party inside the room, all sighed at once, just before the entire throneroom literally exploded with blue bullets.

* * *

"What a mess! Chung, that girl's servant destroyed the throneroom!" Helputt shouted as he, his son, and Raven stood in the large room, with a piece of the roof and wall, here and there.

"Well, I mean, to be fair, one of our guard tried to attack Lu, first." Raven tried to respond, only to be whacked in the head by a chunk of debris, from the Salty Lord of Hamel himself.

"That's it, I'm choosing a girl for you!"

"Wait, please Father, one more!"

"Fine! But it better be good. I'm in an awful mood right now."

Helputt, Chung, and Raven sat back down on their seats. Or at least, what's left. Helputt's throne had 5 bullet dents, Chung's had a large blast hole, and Raven's chair was destroyed entirely, forcing him to move on to sitting on a standing out piece of debris.

"Bring the next girl, before I lose it."

From the rubble, a person approached.

A red haired woman(?). Similar to Elesis, yet dressed differently... She(?) wore a dark vest, loose white pants. Her hair extended to her boyish(?) hips, and her-

 _Rack is flat.._. Helputt thought, as he examined this woman(?)

"He-Helllooooo... I am Elswo- Elsa..."

 _El damn it, kid, not even two or three sentence in, and you screwed up._ Raven complained, sitting on the rock, more comfortably than the chair.

"Alright, Elswo Elsa. Tell me, what makes you qualified?" Suspicious, Helputt question further.

"Uhhh... I- I know how to..." 'She' looked around nervously, before whipping out 'her' sword.

"Know how to kick some ass!"

 _Nailed it._

"Yes, yes, I see, Ms. Elsa. So far, you're looking fine, and you can defend yourself. Going that far." Helputt had a mocking tone, as he said 'looking fine'. "However, there is something I'd like to know."

"And... What would that be..?" Elsword already put away 'her' sword, and prompted Helputt to continue.

"...Are you..." Helputt leaned forward. Elsword gulped.

"A boy... or a girl?"Helputt looked suspiciously at 'her.'

"Ahh..."

 _Damn it, Elsword, this was stupid._ Chung cursed in his mind.

"Hmm?"

"A... boy..."

...

"Kill it." Helputt said with a stoic face.

"Waitwaitwaitwait! Hold on, don't kill me with your gigantic cannon!" Elsword began pleading, waving his hands.

" **Iron!** " Helputt charged mana in his throat.

"Aaaahhh! Don't yell at me!" Elsword closed his eyes.

"Wait, Helputt, hold up!"

" **Ho-!** "

A sudden flash of blue light.

" **Cannon Strike!** " Chung shouted, and attacked Helputt, using his Destroyer.

Helputt doubled over in frustration. Meanwhile, Raven just stood there, hiding behind other chunks of rubble. _Holy crap, where did this come from?_

"Gah, what the hell was that?!"

His son aimed.

"Chung, what is the meaning of this?!"

"Elsword is my friend. So is this little tidbit. It's called..." As Chung whispered, his Freiturnier mode built itself over his armor.

" _Infinite Shelling._ "

Chung began firing. All that came out of Helputt's mouth was gibberish, as he was being blasted to a pulp by his own son's **Siege** stance. Between garbles of gibberish, Helputt spluttered out, "Oh El, you're so de-"

" **Deadly Chase!** " Five homing shells flew out of his cannon, each splitting into three.

"...Correction;"

The fifteen shells flew towards the White Colossus.

" _I'm_ dead."

Unfortunately, Helputt was incapable of Mana Breaking.

* * *

 **Are you happy, now, (Friend's Name)? Hope you are. This was really, really dumb. And I enjoyed writing every sentence of it.**

 ***"Sutra," Sutra was mentioned in one of the story quests' dialogues.**

 ****"Beat it, and take your breasts with you!".** **A little Dragon Ball Xenoverse reference.**

 *****"Grab the women and children!" "Great idea, we'll use them as meatshields!". Ayy, SAO abridged reference, anyone?**

 **PM me some Elsword Story requests, and I'll make something bizarre, or at least some kind of fight. I don't type romance or emotional pieces.**

 **I'll post the original ending in a seperate chapter.**


	2. Alternate Ending

**Original Ending. Changed because it was a little...**

 **Uncomfortable.**

* * *

From the rubble, a person approached.

A red haired woman(?). Similar to Elesis, yet dressed differently... She(?) wore a dark vest, loose white pants. Her hair extended to her boyish(?) hips, and her-

 _Rack is flat.._. Helputt thought, as he examined this woman(?)

"He-Helllooooo... I am Elswo- Elsa..."

 _El damn it, kid, not even two or three sentence in, and you screwed up._ Raven complained, sitting on the rock, more comfortably than the chair.

"Alright, Elswo Elsa. Tell me, what makes you qualified?" Suspicious, Helputt question further.

"Uhhh... I- I know how to..." 'She' looked around nervously, before whipping out 'her' sword.

"Know how to kick some ass!"

 _Nailed it._

"Yes, yes, I see, Ms. Elsa. So far, you're looking fine, and you can defend yourself. Going that far." Helputt had a mocking tone, as he said 'looking fine'. "However, there is something I'd like to know."

"And... What would that be..?" Elsword already put away 'her' sword, and prompted Helputt to continue.

"...Are you..." Helputt leaned forward. Elsword gulped.

"A boy... or a girl?"Helputt looked suspiciously at 'her.'

 _Oh no._ "Err..."

Chung stared at Elsword, sweating. Raven looked in anticipation.

 **"A girl..?"**

 **Helputt smiled.**

 **"Perfect."**


End file.
